Today I Have A Choice

Today I have a choice. I can choose to let my diagnosis control me or I can choose to control my diagnosis.

If I choose to let my diagnosis control me I probably won’t get out of bed and I won’t accomplish anything. I’ll come up with excuses why I didn’t finish my work, why I didn’t clean my room, why I didn’t go to my appointment, and why I didn’t hang out with my friends. I’ll cry and feel alone wondering why everything sucks so bad. If I choose to let my diagnosis control me, I’ll have a terrible day.

If I choose to control my diagnosis I will force myself to get out of bed even though I don’t want to. I’ll start checking off items from my checklist. I’ll finish my work, clean my room and do laundry. I will go to my doctor’s appointment and figure out what’s going on with my stomach. I’ll go out with my friends and create memories that will last a life time. I’ll connect with them on new levels and my heart will be full of love. I’ll wonder how I go so lucky and I’ll have a wonderful day.

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It seems like an easy choice but let me tell you in the moment it’s hard. Option 1 is effortless to choose but hurts. Option 2 takes energy and is exhausting but is so rewarding at the end of the day.

Today I choose to control my diagnosis. I will head to my third place for a tasty cappuccino, I will set 20 minutes aside for my mindfulness practice, and I will reach out to my friends. Today I choose option 2.

If you are faced with a choice like this one, I encourage you to choose option 2 and to remember that you are in control of your life.


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